Exactly one year ago today, we were packing for the trip to Texas to adopt Hope. It is difficult to believe a year can go by so quickly, yet be so long. There are things I wished I had known in the beginning: how quickly Hope would potty train, how hard it was going to be on GB, how bright Hope was, and how all her problems came back to RAD. I wish I had known how the last adoptive parents' guilt was going to flavor my life all year. How little the school district was going to listen and how much they had to learn for themselves. Just how tired I was going to be.
There are things I should have consciously remembered, but didn't; How good Radlets are at triangulating and how much energy it takes to be at least one step ahead. How their radar finds the moment you are least prepared to deal with, so when they start Radishing, it gets maximum effect. How hard it is to keep yourself focused on the hurt child, when all you really want to do is make them go away.
None of this was on my mind that day. I was excited and scared and had a knot in my stomach. An old Irish saying was "God watches over fools and drunks". I am not a drunk, so that leaves me a fool.
4 comments:
You are no fool. You are a blessing and a source of "hope!"
Love and hugs {}
We are on a similar path. Our three kiddos joined our family on July 29, 2010 (we already had three kids at home). Although we're not dealing with RAD, we're at a difficult point as well. One of exhaustion, I think, and trying to regroup and still figuring it out. You are a blessing to me, no fool. :)
You were not a fool, but instead could do nothing other than follow the forceful yanking of your heart.
It just occured to me, and you are welcome to ignore your previous post and completely deny this, but your NEED to aquire Hope was, well, a bit manic? (Having been similarly driven in a period of hypomania myself; but without that I wouldn't have had the stamina to make my now-husband finally decide to date a woman who already had kids.)
And we all love you anyway.
Post a Comment