Friday, August 5, 2011


When we adopted Hope, I knew it wasn't going to be easy. I knew I was too old. I even suspected I had a neurological problem. I was ready. I didn't sign up for any courses,  I found a personal therapist for me. I found a therapist and a psychiatrist for the girls. I lined up Hope's special ed placement. I even started the paperwork for respite.

There have been glitches in support, but, for the most part , they get resolved. Until this week. Hope raged on Wednesday. It was bad. I ended up bruised and scratched. I went to see my therapist on Thursday. The therapist I found to for me to deal with my junk. It was not a good appointment.

The therapist recommended giving up on Hope. She said it was too hard on me, my husband, and most of all GB. After all these sessions, the woman knows me well enough to play the GB card. I am not giving up on Hope. The rages have gotten farther apart. I have to change things around to protect GB. That was my agenda going into yesterday's therapy session. It didn't happen. Instead of support, I got a high pressure sales pitch. It was not helpful.

This morning I am going to get in touch with the agency that helped us keep MK home during her teen years. I am not sure they work with a 5 year old, but if they don't, I am hoping they can at least point me to a place that does.


Lisa said...

Hoping the agency can help. Wishing you were closer so I could lend a hand. Sending hugs your way.

Jen said...

Wow, I am sorry she told you to give up on Hope. That must have been hard to hear, and not something she should have said, imo. I hope you do find an agency that can offer you some help.

Mamita J said...

Oh my cow! Thank you, dear professional! Go jump in a lake! Hope has not been home long enough to "give up" on her.

I know there are times when a family has to make hard decisions in order to protect everyone in the family. But it seems to me that your therapist should be asking you how you feel about the situation.

Please be encouraged by the healing that you have seen. Think back to the good progress she has made. Meditate on everything good about Hope. Remember why she has so much rage. (If you know. If not, then you can imagine.) Focus on how beautiful and precious she is.

Rage is such an ugly monster. It's going to take a long time until Hope can really have the self-control not to rage physically. But if they are getting further apart and some of them are less intense...then she is making progress. We still sometimes go back to the early-type rages, but they are few and far between. Usually I can look back on those and see where I added fuel to the fire instead of gently and firmly having compassion on my child.

It's a tough road, for sure. But please don't give up yet. I believe God sends us through the hard stuff so we learn to trust Him more.

Praying for you,

Last Mom said...

Ugh. Are you going to stick with that therapist? If so, sounds like you need to set some new boundaries! It sucks when the professionals make things more stressful. (((Hugs)))

Kelley said...

Love you! PRAYING!!

Story of our Life said...

(((hugs))) love you darling. Hang in there.

Sunday Koffron said...

I am so sorry! I too wish I lived closer so that I could lend some real live “hands-on” support.

And yes, I am a little angry about your therapist’s attitude towards Hope. At exactly point is it OK to write off a FIVE YEAR OLD? What in her mind would giving up on hope look like? Would a THERAPIST be so quick to encourage you to call it quits on a mentally ill child you gave birth to? Grrrr!

From what I know, she has made progress in your care. Learning new coping skills to deal with such profound losses and trauma takes time, lots of time. I am glad that you are holding on to hope! XOXO!

Karen -AspergersMom said...

Bless your heart. Praying for love, support and respite...

Amanda said...

It sure isn't fair!! I do hope you can find the services you need. I know that "dump the therapist" is always a quick response, but I also know very often we become desynthesized to the seriousness of the situation. That she would pull the "GB card" has to be a code red. And your response reflected that!! I sure will be praying!!

We got a narcisitic sociapath dx this week on one of my teens. Everyones first response is "where are you sending her?" I feel so often that the buck stops here! But, you have to keep saftey first and make sure you have a safety plan in place!!

I feel like I am preaching to an angel:) You have BTDT that so much more than I!!


Sarah said...

Oh, my. I have no words, just sending hugs and prayers. <3

Amanda said...

It's a shame but not surprising. I'm very familiar with "it can't be done" attitude, particularly in conjunction with my son.

But only you can determine if it can be done or not. Trust your instincts.

Sincerely Mama said...

Im so sorry to hear that you didn't get the support you were looking for. It is certainly NOT time for you to give up until (and if) YOU decide so.

Hang in there, Sister. You are strong.