Saturday, July 31, 2010

Still HOPEing

We heard from Hope's mother today. She said Hope was doing better on the risperdal. She also said she had an appointment with her lawyer Monday. She  also said Hope wanted more pictures of GB. This is one of the pictures I sent her.

This is the meat of the email I received:

GB's Mom
Okay, I'll have to admit I was almost hoping you were going to change your mind!  I had a feeling you weren't.  This is hard.    I want you to know that we have peace in this decision, somehow strangely, a calming peace.  I know Hope is in God's hands and she is HIS child so I'm walking it out one step at a time, trusting God is going to open and shut doors when necessary and in HIS perfect timing.

That is fine for y'all to come here.  We would love that.  This is bitter sweet of course.  We can only know that our God is greater and has a perfect plan for Hope, plans for her to prosper.  I am grateful to God that he has provided people like you and Joe, who are experienced, selfless, and knowledgeable.  It brings me peace knowing that she will be in the BEST hands.   You are resourceful, protective, selfless and serious about making sure that your children get EXACTLY what they need.  GB's Dad strikes me as a man who has an undying love for his family.  He is a servant, gentle and caring and exudes laughter and joy.

I adore GB.  She's just BEAUTIFUL, so precious.  I was so touched by her giving nature and doting ways with Hope.  It is quite obvious she has thrived in your home.  

MK, is so sweet too.  She is going to make a good mother.  She seems tender hearted and has a desire to please.  She's also a fabulous cook.  I can't wait to meet Malachi.  BTW, how do you propose that will fit into all this?  Timing wise, and placement wise?  

I LOVED your church and your pastor and his family.  It gave me confirmation that we are on the right page and have the same beliefs.  I felt so comfortable, so at home, and so at ease with the people in your church.  I felt welcomed, accepted and loved, not judged or condemned.  It was, well, refreshing.  Every single person was sincere and friendly.  

I LOVED New York.  Wow!  Talk about blown away!  I guess all I ever thought of New York was New York city.  It's just beautiful.  I hope we can take family vacations there and see you and your family.  

I appreciate your resourcefulness, especially in drawing Kathy's expertise in this area.  She is delightful, as well as her daughters.  

I'm sad . . . I feel like I'm dying inside.  I feel like I'm planning a funeral.  I feel sick to my stomach.  This is CRAZY.  

But, somehow, God is greater.  I know He will be glorified.  I am being humbled, more than I think I ever have before.  Which is crazy because I've prayed for humility for YEARS, never quite understanding how He was going to do this.  Never in my wildest dreams did I think it would be this way. 

Anyway, I can't wait for you to meet the rest of our family and I am looking forward to the journey we will take together as we share one thing in common . . . HOPE! 

I am still not sure where this is going.

Friday, July 30, 2010

I am OK

After three long days, this cycle's storms are passing.MK's rage has passed for the time being. GB and I are going down to North Myrtle Beach on Sunday. Should be there by noon.
A casuality during this rage was my Mac Book Pro. I am contemplating getting a Mac Book are while they fix my computer. If my posts are short, not to worry, it will be that I am fighting the Ipad and losing. Thanks to everyone who emailed me- I will get back to you by the end of the weekend.

We are still adopting Hope. I had our home study updated during MK's rage. GB is doing well- not stable yet, but happy. During one part of MK's rage, GB walked away, called her Dad, and told him to come home, because MK was yelling and calling Mommy nasty names.

I saw my therapist yesterday, and she said (again) that MK should not be living in the house. We now have a new safety plan. When MK rages, GB and I are checking into a motel and letting the Dad handle it. Don't have to worry about it while We are in NMB :)

Thursday, July 29, 2010

Here is the old blog.

I am taking deep breaths. Any one who wants to keep following old one where I will still post daily email me.

Help- anybody know how to put a password on this?

I sent out the new url last night, but I can't figure out how to password protect it.  Help would be appreciated.

MK is still bouncing and I need a safe place to blog.

Wednesday, July 28, 2010

My New MK Free Blog

My oldest son, J, is doing well. GB is making steady progress.  This blog will continue focusing on GB's journey as well as the journey to adopt Hope from the family who can no longer parent her.