Saturday, July 31, 2010

Still HOPEing

We heard from Hope's mother today. She said Hope was doing better on the risperdal. She also said she had an appointment with her lawyer Monday. She  also said Hope wanted more pictures of GB. This is one of the pictures I sent her.

This is the meat of the email I received:

GB's Mom
Okay, I'll have to admit I was almost hoping you were going to change your mind!  I had a feeling you weren't.  This is hard.    I want you to know that we have peace in this decision, somehow strangely, a calming peace.  I know Hope is in God's hands and she is HIS child so I'm walking it out one step at a time, trusting God is going to open and shut doors when necessary and in HIS perfect timing.

That is fine for y'all to come here.  We would love that.  This is bitter sweet of course.  We can only know that our God is greater and has a perfect plan for Hope, plans for her to prosper.  I am grateful to God that he has provided people like you and Joe, who are experienced, selfless, and knowledgeable.  It brings me peace knowing that she will be in the BEST hands.   You are resourceful, protective, selfless and serious about making sure that your children get EXACTLY what they need.  GB's Dad strikes me as a man who has an undying love for his family.  He is a servant, gentle and caring and exudes laughter and joy.

I adore GB.  She's just BEAUTIFUL, so precious.  I was so touched by her giving nature and doting ways with Hope.  It is quite obvious she has thrived in your home.  

MK, is so sweet too.  She is going to make a good mother.  She seems tender hearted and has a desire to please.  She's also a fabulous cook.  I can't wait to meet Malachi.  BTW, how do you propose that will fit into all this?  Timing wise, and placement wise?  

I LOVED your church and your pastor and his family.  It gave me confirmation that we are on the right page and have the same beliefs.  I felt so comfortable, so at home, and so at ease with the people in your church.  I felt welcomed, accepted and loved, not judged or condemned.  It was, well, refreshing.  Every single person was sincere and friendly.  

I LOVED New York.  Wow!  Talk about blown away!  I guess all I ever thought of New York was New York city.  It's just beautiful.  I hope we can take family vacations there and see you and your family.  

I appreciate your resourcefulness, especially in drawing Kathy's expertise in this area.  She is delightful, as well as her daughters.  

I'm sad . . . I feel like I'm dying inside.  I feel like I'm planning a funeral.  I feel sick to my stomach.  This is CRAZY.  

But, somehow, God is greater.  I know He will be glorified.  I am being humbled, more than I think I ever have before.  Which is crazy because I've prayed for humility for YEARS, never quite understanding how He was going to do this.  Never in my wildest dreams did I think it would be this way. 

Anyway, I can't wait for you to meet the rest of our family and I am looking forward to the journey we will take together as we share one thing in common . . . HOPE! 

I am still not sure where this is going.


Corey said...

If you think it would be of value, you can pass my email address on to her. I can't imagine she knows anyone who has been on the same end of the equation that she is on. xoxo

GB's Mom said...

Thanks, Corey. I will.

Anonymous said...

1. You have real names in this post.
2. If you come to our bit of Texas, Mary and I would love to meet you (yes, I'll speak for her, 'tho her schedule is a lot tighter than mine is).
3. Hope's mom could not NOT have fears and misgivings. She has been trying hard -- if she hadn't been giving herself to the task, would she be so burnt out? No.
Actually, that giving too much of herself has to be part of her turmoil. Because, especially after meeting you and now believing that it can be done, she has to be feeling conflict over whether maybe she really could do it.
It takes a really big negative to get most of us to stop trying. Corey had her girls to protect. I had to face that my mental health was deteriorating and I didn't have meds that could stop me from wanting to kill myself. I could not guarantee that I would stay alive if I kept on pouring myself into my daughter.

So I think if you want to know if this is a "sure thing", look at what broke her. The big things won't go away with more determination / effort / committment / faith on her part. (But, of course, that won't stop her from really wishing.)

I was blogging while I was making the decision to put Ms A into a home (and then, Thank GOD, she had an offer of foster), so I did not have to scare her foster-parents-to-be with my emotional swings. It may be that Hope's mom has nobody else to express these feelings to but you, and she doesn't see that you really aren't the best choice either.

Overall, I think her email says that yes, she is still going forward with your plans.

GB's Mom said...

Hope lives 45-50 minutes outside of Austin. Thanks for the heads up on the names I fixed the real ones.
I passed Corey's email on to her- I also think Corey would be a better match for what she is going through.

I am so impressed with Mr. P.'s progress. You go !

Mom of these kids said...

I think, that she is feeling a big sigh of relief...that you are an answer to prayers. And also, I agree...she probably does feel conflicted after seeing that you can knowingly take this on, and that you do so well. That has got to make her wonder, "well what if I could have done that"....

Is this going to be an open adoption? Are you going to still stay in touch, allow Hope to see them, have yall discussed that part?

GB's Mom said...

We would like an open adoption- Hope appears to be attached(somewhat) and it is going to be hard on her siblings. This is Hope's mother's preference too. So we will try.

Anonymous said...

You have my email address now, right? eMail me.