The Cavalry Signed On

All the required people showed up for our 3:15 at 3:30 today. The Dad and I have all the required paperwork signed. We officially have 24/7 crisis intervention in place. Our waiver worker is coming again on Monday to start setting up skill services and respite services. Mean while, I am looking at attachment therapists. I have had enough Therapy Tuesdays. It is time for a change. The therapist we have is not working. Hope is 6.5 and I hear the clock ticking loudly.

Therapy Tuesday with a Twist

Yesterday was Therapy Tuesday. I received an email from Ms. VY Teacher detailing a complex lie Hope was caught in and the lies she told to get out of the first lie. Hope was not happy... she had told me she had a good day.


We fed them and went to therapy. The Dad dropped the girls and I off and went to get more coffee. As soon as we walked in the therapist's waiting room, Hope realized she for got her pencil. I told her she could get it when The Dad came back. That started her rage. As she was trying to kick and punch me and I was trying to get her in a therapeutic hold, GB became agitated and tried to defend me. While I was keeping GB from hurting Hope and getting her in her own space, Hope took advantage of the opportunity to head butt me.


I took her down to the floor, which was hard linoleum and dirty, and she started pounding her face into the floor. She ended up with a bruised face and a bloody lip.


In the middle of this, Hope's social worker from ICM walked in. She was there to work with the therapist and me on a safety plan. The therapist told the social worker that Hope dissociates regularly, with no warning. She said that Hope was severely sexually and physically abused. She also said Hope did not need an RTC, she needed an RTF. 


The social worker's response was that she thinks Hope requires a higher level of care than she can supply and she is going to speak to her supervisor about transferring Hope's case.


I am bruised and battered and doubt the cavalry even exists.

Therapy Update

On Tuesday, I spent 25 minutes talking with the girls therapist without either of them present. The therapist was pleased with how well grounded in reality GB is at this time. The therapist prescribed TLC when GB starts to get overwhelmed and suggested I never leave GB alone with Hope (Duh).


Hope is struggling and while the therapist was pleased Hope and I will get bonding time this weekend, she is more interested in how Hope reacts when it is just me and nobody to triangulate. We see the psychiatrist Monday and the therapist and I are both confident that the Abilify, while helping, does not keep Hope stable enough that we can work on her issues.


Besides the door alarm, we now have a lock box for all medication.

The girls both have CSE meetings on Monday afternoon. GB's should be quick and easy. Hope's will probably not come up with an appropriate IEP and will have to be tabled. Reading up on Wrightlaw's Smart IEP goals.

*Therapied Out*

Today The Dad and I went for our 4th therapy session with Hope this week. Thankfully, it was better than yesterday. We spoke about "tricks of the trade". The therapist reminded us that when are giving Hope options, to make sure the last option she hears is the option we would like her to choose. He reinforced that triangulation needed to be avoided and it was worth the extra effort. He included the school personnel !  Hope and I were given HW for the week- she has to teach me to dance for five minutes three times this week. I left not feeling like it was a waste of time, but rather *therapied out*.  Thankfully, next week has only two therapy appointments.

View from the School

The Dad and I went and met with the school psychiatrist and the class therapist today. I really didn't want to go, since we already saw the other shrink Monday and had Therapy Tuesday. However, one of the condition of Hope being in the class with so much support is that we meet with the therapist and doctor once a month. Since I haven't met with them since the beginning of November, I felt obligated to force myself today. Doing things you don't want to do exercises your willpower.


They discussed how poorly Hope was doing. I agreed with them. The psychiatrist said Hope's behavior was telling us she is scared... afraid of being abandoned. I waited. I was sure there had to be more coming. I waited some more. That was all he had to offer. I go back tomorrow to have a session with Hope and the therapist (darn, the psychiatrist couldn't make it). I will try to take an open mind with me tomorrow. I don't know if I can do it.

We Set a Record!

Yesterday was Therapy Tuesday. I never like Therapy Tuesdays because they tend to be miserable. Yesterday was by far the worse one I have experienced. 

GB bumped her head, hard, on the car door on our way in. She was instantly convinced I did it and there was no way to convince her otherwise. She has a big knot on her head and would accept no comfort from me. She just cried and insisted it was my fault.

The Dad went back with Hope. During the session, The Dad and the therapist talked about conditions under which it would be productive for The Dad and Hope to go to Texas to visit her first adoptive parents. They had this conversation in front of Hope. All Hope heard was "Daddy is taking me to Texas". She was more hyper than I had ever seen her. 

She never did settle down last night. She was wild and totally out there for the rest of the night... no eye contact, giddy giggling, and total defiance. It was after 11:30 PM before she was still long enough to fall asleep. The Dad didn't miss the State of the Union speech, though. It is good to have priorities.


Hope woke up this morning with great difficulties, still carrying on about her non-existent Texas trip. I feel sorry for Mrs. VY Teacher,

 

Medication: A Mixed Bag

We took the girls to see the psychiatrist today. Both girls had high prolactin levels, but GB's was through the roof again. We had to cut her Invega dose in half and now we pray that when it is tested again in three weeks, it will have gone down. If it doesn't, she has to come off it. I am not sure that a 1/2 dose will maintain her stability. I dread having to take her off it completely.

Hope now carries a diagnosis of PTSD, along with RAD. The therapist at school  is focusing on her trauma during their sessions. The outside therapist is not. The shrink  told me today that I had to make sure that the outside therapist refocuses her therapy with  Hope and keeps in contact with the school therapist. She said ideally we would just use the school therapist, but since this is the third school therapist in the year we have had Hope, we would need to keep the outside therapist for consistency.

So far today, I am doing well with my attitude Challenge. This afternoon we have to take the hour ride back to Little City because it is Therapy Tuesday. Hope struggles with therapy. I am going to be very mindful of my attitude.

A Step for Hope

Hope currently sees a shrink twice a month- once at school and once privately. She sees a therapist three times a week- twice at school and once privately. Today, Hope and I went to therapy with her social worker and shrink at school. For most of the past year, these sessions were a waste of time. I did them so I would be labeled an outstanding parent. When the powers to be think you are an outstanding parent, it is easier to get what you need for your kids. This weeks session was different.

The shrink started talking about Hope's meltdown at Fri*ndly's two weeks ago. Hope didn't want to talk about it. The shrink and therapist insisted. They asked Hope why she had been screaming I hit her. Hope shrugged. They asked Hope if I was hitting her. She said no. Then the shrink told her somebody used to hit her in the past, but it wasn't me. Hope looked at him and said, "Nobody hit me. My Texas mom used to spank my butt with a belt". They reiterated that was then and now was different. After Hope went back to class, they both agreed that separating the past from the current reality is what we will be focused on for the foreseeable future. Today felt like progress!

Hope's Class May Have a Real Therapist

Hope's class has a new therapist. Third one in the 13 months we have had Hope. I met with him. He seemed almost lost and definitely uncomfortable. I had just about given up when he brought up her diagnosis. It turns out the school has Hope's diagnosis down as an adjustment disorder. After observing Hope for several hours, in her class, over the course of a week, the therapist spent hours going through Hope's records. The poor therapist was struggling to find a diplomatic way to tell me my daughter had Reactive Attachment Disorder. After I stopped laughing, I gave him a short history. He was amazed she is doing so well after only being with us for a year.  I guess everything is relative.

And The Rage Goes On...

Today is Therapy Tuesday. We went off to the Little City for our late afternoon appointments. Lately, therapy for Hope is a ragefest. Rage before, rage after, rage during, sometimes rage without stop. Hope rages at other times, but Tuesday is a given. It always starts with a control issue. Hope wants to go first, Hope wants to go last. Hope wants to sit on the left, Hope wants a drink.

Today Hope wanted gum. GB gave it to her. Five minutes later, I glance in the rear view mirror. The gum wasn't in Hope's mouth any more. It was on both hands, her face, a loc, her leg, her shirt, and her shorts. Also on her face was the biggest Ain't-I-Cute RAD smirk smile. GB went in to see the therapist first, while I cleaned Hope up. That was the start of the rage.

I don't know what will start next Tuesday's rage. I just know if it is Tuesday, there is rage.

Tuesday Therapy

Yesterday was therapy. The therapist said Hope was accomplishing a lot in therapy, but was unable to tolerate therapy for more than a short time. On the way home, Hope raged until she fell asleep. I said nothing to her, because anything I say makes it worse. Instead, I concentrated on driving and imagined the earth opening up and swallowing the Texas parents. Not Christian, not productive, not even particularly fair. It got me home. Sometimes I don't like myself when I am dealing with Hope.

Thankful November, Day 2

Today GB starts play therapy with the same therapist as Hope. I am thankful for my health insurance, which makes therapy for the girls possible. Many people are not as fortunate and have to get by without health insurance or pay large amounts of money for it. I am blessed in that not only do we have health insurance, but we get to chose the providers we feel meet our needs and are not limited to those who the insurance company approves.