Today The Dad and I spent from 9 am to 4:40 with the attachment therapist. She is really very good and even though her questions were very intrusive, I was not uncomfortable answering them. Every once in a while, she would go back to how difficult this was going to continue to be with Hope. She said Hope was very conflicted and the trauma work was going to be very painful. She said this multiple times. I personally think the AT is the one who is going to be surprised at how difficult it is, but it is necessary so I didn't need to talk about it much. I believe you do what you have to do.
We did an exercise based on "The Five Languages of Love" and I was proud of myself. I predicted the exact order The Dad would put them in and then had to laugh at myself- I had managed to turn it into a competition in my head. Since I kept it in my head, no harm was done. Finding out our core beliefs were compatible wasn't surprising, but was nice. We spent some time talking about making sure GB's needs don't get lost in the chaos. I think we decided we have to go back to the earlier evening schedule GB (and Hope) do best on, but we did not figure out exactly how we were going to make it happen.
We were back in the motel room before 5 and Hope immediately started pushing the limits. She spent over an hour raging, including trying to bite each of us, but since the AT told us to restrain her before someone gets hurt and because we were both there, the only injury I had was a little nick on my left hand. Hope fell asleep by 6:20 pm. GB is also stressed by watching Hope struggle and hearing Hope screech. She asked to turn the TV off before 7:30 and was asleep within minutes.
Tomorrow The Dad and I are going to watch (and give minimal assistance) to the AT and Hope as they make a time line of Hope's life and write Hope's story. I know this is preparation for the trauma work Friday and Monday. It will be interesting to see how it goes.
I heard back from the AT's in Chicago and it looks like it would cost around $10,000 to have two therapists fly to NY and do the intensive in our home. The information came a little late, but I have filed it away to consider at a future time.
5 comments:
I really really hope this is the answer, at least in part, to this situation! I didn't realize you were in NY! I am too! Not sure where you are, but I'm about an hour outside of Manhattan. If that's anywhere near you, let me know!!!!
I am so glad you are blogging this journey! I am praying it helps, and I truly believe if anyone can make this work YOU can!
I hope you guys can get a good night's sleep too. Sounds exhausting for all concerned. This sounds like it was a really productive day.
Deb
Following your Intensive story with deep interest. I wonder if we'd have done something like this with Toots, if we'd known about it when she was younger.
Dr. Alan Sroufe, a researcher in attachment issues and William Harris professor of child psychiatry at the University of Minnesota, has serious doubts.
"Attachment therapy is about building a relationship with a child in which he can feel comfortable and secure, safe to express any feelings they might have. I don't know how holding a child down while he struggles mightily before capitulating to adult authority serves that end."
Nor does Sroufe understand how attachment therapists can claim their standard two-week therapy--which typically costs $7,000 and includes treatments such as "inner child work," psychodrama, corrective parenting (parents are involved too), eye movement therapy and cognitive restructuring--makes a significant difference.
"There are no quick fixes" to attachment problems, he said.
http://articles.chicagotribune.com/2000-06-08/news/0006080068_1_rebirthing-candace-newmaker-connell-watkins/2
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