Monday, May 9, 2011

Love isn't always enough...

My little RADish, Hope, is currently holding her own. Not doing well, but she can be contained within our structure. As of this moment. Until something changes.

I have many friends  who have/are doing their best to raise deeply traumatized children. All give all their love, all try many types of professional help.  This week has been a long week for many of them and they have struggled with decisions no parent should ever have to consider. Psychiatric hospitalizations, RTCs, even dissolutions.

If you have a friend IRL struggling with a RADish, have compassion. If you read a blog and someone seems on overload, suspend judgement. No matter who they are, nobody goes into adoption expecting failure.

Support, pray, love these people. They are trying to do an impossible job, and do it well. They have my admiration.

7 comments:

Denise said...

Well said. I hear a lot of judgment (about other adoptive parents, not about me, although I'm sure it goes on behind my back) from people who have no clue what just it's like living with traumatized children. I'd love to see that judgment replaced with compassion!

Kelley said...

Very, very well said. They and you ALL have my admiration. You are all AMAZING!

J. said...

love you!

Karen -AspergersMom said...

This job sounds almost impossible. I have nothing but admiration for you and others who make the choice to help these extremely troubled children. As human's who are not Psychiatric professionals, we have limits. Sometimes we need to call in the troops to help us get through the battle. My 15 year old is not adopted -he is mine and I love him, but sometimes I just can't handle him. He is twice my size and when he looses it, it's ugly! I have to do what I have to do. Even if the guilt eats me alive!

Penelope said...

Great post! I have nothing but admiration for those who adopt these damaged little souls. Praying for you and Hope.
Have you joined our blog hop about foster care?
http://foster2forever.com

Lorraine, AKA Forever Blessed said...

We, too, have a child via a disrupted adoption. We also have several RAD children, along with many other labels. It is hard. So very hard. I also have seen the pain for families who have had to choose to disrupt an adoption. I pray for Hope's first adoptive family, that they will not feel the judgment that is so prevalant. I pray Hope one day reads your words of compassion in this post toward adoptive families who sometimes must make a decision to dissolve the adoption. I know that's not what Hope's family ever thought would happen when they adopted her. As you said, "No matter who they are, nobody goes into adoption expecting failure."

Other Mother said...

Oh my, do I wish a page like this had been around when I was raising my son alone. It would have been so good to talk to people who understood what it is to raise a severely traumatized child. I started my own blog last week, mostly because I just felt like I had to tell SOMEONE what it was like. The best thing I can tell any of you who are still in the early days is, my son is almost 21 and doing really well. There is another side, sometimes, not always, but sometimes. If you think it would help to read my experiences, the link is raisingatraumatizedchild.blogspot.com.