Tuesday, July 17, 2012

Intensive Day Six- Hard Stuff

The payback for yesterday continued to be intense. The first hour of the session consisted of me restraining Hope. An hour. I was a stinky, sweaty mess in the waiting room, while the therapist watched. It seemed to last forever or maybe longer. When it was resolved (sloppy sitting, strong sitting, jumping jacks) it was a relief to sit in the AT's office and just breathe. The AT told me I did everything right- I wasn't escalating, just containing, and  I kept calm, soft, and encouraging. 


Hope and the AT worked on Hope identifying the need for her to have a mother in general and that mother being me. This was by far the hardest session Hope has had and the first time The Dad and I have seen genuine tears of sadness from Hope.


At the end of the session, The Dad and I heard some hard truths. The AT said that Hope had no internalized image of anything good coming from a mother- the damage done in Texas was deep and profound. There is nothing to build on. We will be doing as much nurture as Hope will allow, but mostly will be repeating what we were taught during the sessions hundreds, thousands of times, indefinitely. Hope is a very traumatized child.


Tomorrow the AT is meeting with GB, The Dad, and I without Hope. She is going to help us make sure GB's needs get met while we continue to help Hope heal. This stuff is just so hard.

9 comments:

Kari O said...

Was the Texas Mom an adoptive parent who did not end up adopting Hope?

Whoever she is, she is a poor excuse for a human being. I don't understand people who can be so cruel to people, nevermind young children. Hope is *still* only just little, and was even littler then.

My heart breaks for your hurt little girl, and I give big kudos for how much you obviously care for her. I wish only the best for your entire family.

GB's Mom said...

The Texas Mom adopted Hope at five weeks and decided just before her 5th birthday she wanted her adopted by someone else.

Ranger said...

Oh so hard, it must be so hard on so many levels as her mom to see and help Hope do this. I really hope that these feelings and thoughts are getting put into words and shared with you is going to help her long term. Poor little girl. Thinking of you all {}

Anonymous said...

Trauma is deep and difficult. Anything can set off a traumitized response, but clearly there was great injustice in this case. I love how you are doing everything in your power to change this child's response to the world. Much love and prayers today...

Anonymous said...

Do the authorities, or at least someone in the foster system in Texas, know about what happened to Hope and the trauma caused by her previous "mother" (I use that term loosely) so that they can make sure she never adopts or fosters another child again?

Prayers for all of you.

Anonymous said...

Heartbreaking on so many levels. She was given up by her birth mother in hopes that she would have a better life but the adoptive bitch (I refuse to call mother)took her anger out on her...where was the father in all this??? And really, why 5 years? Actually, WHY at all? Thank you for all you trying to do to heal this poor child.

Beth

Mamá Gringa said...

I have been reading from the sidelines for a while but today I had to send my love and support.

Mamá Gringa said...

I have been reading from the sidelines for a while but today I had to send my love and support.

Barb G said...

I love you, and I'm sorry things are this way. You are an amazing mom, my friend. (((hug)))