Sunday, November 20, 2011

Staying In the Moment

The Dad went out to dinner with friends tonight. He fed the girls and got them in pajamas first. The Dad definitely needed the socializing more than I did. The girls watched a fairy movie on Disney  and there were only a few flare-ups. When the movie was over, I gave then their meds and said bed time. Hope flipped. She was not tired, she was not going to bed with out her father and I couldn't make her. I said "bed" and she started screaming and hitting.I forced a PRN into her and set her down. She screamed, cried, and threatened me for 45 minutes. As the PRN started working, there were pauses between her outbursts. When we had 3 minutes of silence, I quietly told her to go to bed. She did. I got through this evening by staying in the moment.

She is asleep and I am angry. I am so tired of being abused by a six year old- traumatized or not. Tomorrow is a new day. I am taking the morning to myself. Hopefully, that will be enough for a fresh start. I am not Christine. Now I need to try to sleep.


Corey said...

You are doing incredibly well, especially when you throw in recovering from surgery. Today is a new day. You are an amazing mom and an incredible person. Much love.

Dawn said...

I am so glad you are getting a morning off. I remember how hard those early years were with our Goldilocks. You are doing a great job.

Miz Kizzle said...

I am in awe that you can hold it together as well as you do.
I also like the sentiment expressed at the beginning of your post but the former editor in me despairs at the use of "alright" instead of "all right."

waldenbunch said...

I know you must truly be exhausted physically but I think emotional abuse affects everything else as well. Been thinking about you a lot lately and praying you'll turn the corner (one way or another!)

Trauma Mama said...

Thank God for bedtime and you are doing great! Praying you can get recharged.

Integrity Singer said...

(((((((((((HUGS)))))))))))) you're awesome. Getting much love and prayers for me as I've begun working on the quilt.