Sunday, November 27, 2011
My Troll Comes A Calling
I was feeling overwhelmed when I wrote my last post. Just to make my day, one of my all time favorite trolls left me a comment. Some of what she said was true. I have a hard time taking her seriously, though. The header on her site says, and this IS a quote, "My home, my blog, my opinions. I will not post any pro-adoption comments. This is not a forum for debate." Nothing like a closed mind to start a discussion.
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12 comments:
Nothing like getting kicked when you're down. Just remember you lay it there to let other moms it's okay to not feel everything is perfect or has to be. Your feelings are your own and kindness demands we respect others.
That troll is one angry person! Wow, I am wondering why she needs to take time to follow adoption blogs when she is anti adoption. Hugs to you for all you do for your girls. RAD and many other dxs are exhausting (we are living rad too) and I appreciate your honesty. Hugs to you!
I'm with Dannette!!
You know what I have to say about crap like that.
I'll keep it clean, though.
Instead....just kick her back. ;-)
Love you!!
Seriously one angry woman. I agree she is bitter. Why she thinks she has anything worthwhile to say to someone who is living the life and doing the work she clearly could not, is beyond me. Chin up! You're fighting the good fight.
Argh, I do admire your patience. Following your example and keeping my mouth shut with an effort and sending you hugs and hopes that today is easier.
Troll, troll, troll be gone.
Some people...
*hugs and prayers*
I wonder what she thinks the alternative is?
Disrupting an adoption of a traumatized 6 year-old girl for the second time?
Backing up in time and having a traumatized 5 year-old girl disrupted from an adoption into foster care?
Having another baby girl end up in foster care instead of a family member adoption placement?
Does this person really have such faith in the system that she believes that the needs of these girls can be met without a bulldog of an advocate?
Honestly, it can be hard to read about your life sometimes, but by doing so I know for certain that it must be harder to live it. And your girls certainly are in a place where there needs are met and they are loved. I sincerely doubt that there is any better place for them than with you, and I don't even know you.
That sure was an "ouch!" But jeez, what part of what the troll said is true? That you WANTED her, as opposed to how her TX family felt about her being around? Is it selfish to want to help? Selfish is grabbing for the joy and letting others deal with the pain. You expected pain (just not exactly configured like it currently is.)
Did you look to fulfull some of your needs by adopting Hope? Well, yes. But Hope's needs were the biggest. Hope NEEDED to get out of the family that ignored / abused her so much her sensory deprevation prevented her from knowing how to count to 3. AND you also fully expected to fill a need GB had. You honestly and purely thought that Hope and GB were similar enough to be able to enjoy being siblings. And sometimes I think they do. Siblings of all ilk fight and at least occasionally physically hurt each other.
Sorry you were dealing with this. I hope it has passed.
And I hope you have made it home safely, and with a great amount of quiet.
That sure was an "ouch!" But jeez, what part of what the troll said is true? That you WANTED her, as opposed to how her TX family felt about her being around? Is it selfish to want to help? Selfish is grabbing for the joy and letting others deal with the pain. You expected pain (just not exactly configured like it currently is.)
Did you look to fulfull some of your needs by adopting Hope? Well, yes. But Hope's needs were the biggest. Hope NEEDED to get out of the family that ignored / abused her so much her sensory deprevation prevented her from knowing how to count to 3. AND you also fully expected to fill a need GB had. You honestly and purely thought that Hope and GB were similar enough to be able to enjoy being siblings. And sometimes I think they do. Siblings of all ilk fight and at least occasionally physically hurt each other.
Sorry you were dealing with this. I hope it has passed.
And I hope you have made it home safely, and with a great amount of quiet.
Wait, this woman is anti-adoption? I hadn't a clue such a thing even existed...O....K....
I know there are several adoptees who have a negative view of adoption and feel like they were kidnapped. They feel like they were never truly a fit with their adoptive family, etc... I think they feel that way because that is their frame of reference. I know many kids (myself included) that grow in in a bio family and feel as if they are an outsider and don't fit and that there is something wrong with them. Many bio nuclear families are functionally dysfunctional, but these bitter and confused adoptees can't see that because it wasn't their experience. They are still stuck in romanticizing the picture of what living with their bio family would have been like. I hate that she runs around being bitter and acting out and hurting others, but I do see why she's hurt and it comes down to this... hurt people hurt people.
That woman is just awful. She just wants to spread her misery to others. She has done this several times to me. Consider the source, realize she is just a nasty troll in blog land and irl and ignore her.
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