Wednesday, September 28, 2011

Give a fish...

The attitude of entitlement has me pissed off big time. Quasi-adults- people between 26 and 39+- who think that they are entitled to have life's problems solved to their satisfaction by resources outside themselves. I think about when I was in my late twenties and early thirties. The people I knew would never publicly talk about having to exist on bread and water, much less post it on FB. Of course, their money wouldn't have been spent on cigarettes, grand lattes, and drugs... they would have fed their kids. Their money wouldn't have been spent on premium cable, high speed internet, or top-of-the-line data plans for their iphones, either. Their kids would have eaten. A television in every room (including kid's bedrooms) didn't even occur to them. How can you consider yourself independent when you are living off of public assistance, charity, and private bailouts?

Remember the saying "Give a fish, they eat for a day. Teach them to fish, they eat for a life time"? There is a lot of truth in there. The real question becomes "What do you do when they decide learning to fish is too much work?" I don't comprehend. It is like I don't speak the same language and there are no translators around. I find it mind boggling.

This is my rant and a regular post will return tomorrow. I will go back to speaking a language I do understand.

7 comments:

Last Mom said...

I loved my job, but the entitlement attitude is something I don't miss at all!!! I was getting burnt out by people emailing me from their iphones to tell me they couldn't afford to pay their $6 a week childcare subsidy. (and similar situations)

Shocked said...

Not everyone is born into situations where they have the knowledge, education, abilities, or support to act as an adult.
Not everyone grows up surrounded by adults who model appropriate behaviors and ethics.
Not everyone grows up with financial stability or education dealing with being responsible with money.

People make choices, but if there is no support network, the force of poverty combined with bad modeling wins.

Did you say you are receiving a PhD in some area of psychology? Maybe you need a refresher in the cycle of poverty, addiction, and the effects of poor parenting.

How old is your oldest daughter? I wonder where she would be without a home paid for by YOU, support from YOU, food provided by YOU, babysitting advice from YOU, vacations with YOU, etc. ????

++
"How can you consider yourself independent when you are living off of public assistance, charity, and private bailouts?"

Nice GB's Mom. Nice.

GB's Mom said...

Dear Shocked-
My daughter is FAS and does the best she is capable of. A little research would perhaps give you perspective. If you wish, you can start here "http://coffeecatharsis.blogspot.com/2010/11/matter-of-justice.html
She is 25 and may never be independent. Lack of Modeling only explains a small part of what I see. A more accurate cause may be that this the the first American generation were the children's life situation is not better than their parents. Regardless, I am not talking about people who continue the poverty they were born into. I am talking about people who are capable, know what to do, and simply can't be bothered. I am sorry if I offended you, but it WAS my rant.

Struggling to Stand said...

In short, AMEN, GB's mom.

My eldest has a HUGE attitude of entitlement. Stuns me. I think it is because
1) he didn't get what he needed when he was young (unconditional love and a feeling of safety.)
2) when he lived with his father, he was able to eat candy all day w/ no repercussions.
3) his dad feels anyone rich got there by unfairness and has no problem modeling the "it is your birthright to be handed that silver platter."
4) I live in a good area and very wealthy kids feed into the high school -- my son had friends who were given new SUVs when they turned 16. I wouldn't buy him another bike when his was stolen when it was left unlocked at the school a few weeks after I'd bought it. ... It is hard to see others get what you are not getting.
5) my son has always blamed bad things things that happen in his life on external factors, often people. A bad grade was because the teacher was a **itch, not because he didn't study. ... I read something somewhere about external blame being associated w/ some sort of disorder. ... But it would also surely be associated with "others do to me, what I do doesn't matter."
6) Back to my neighborhood -- my daughter is h/c. At the elementary school parents would park in the one h/c spot all the time. They were teaching their kids that they were more important than silly things like laws or other people. So my son got that message from many places and nothing I could do at home could counter it.
7) Television and movies are extremely not real-life. How often do you see a "poor" person on TV who is anything like a real poor person? The ones I see have a real table to eat at and matching dishes. And advertising. Whew, that is a BIG reason.
I am not an FB friend with my son. No way do I want to see what he is posting!
... the attitude cuts across economic status, opportunities, intelligence, location in the country, parental support past the age of 18-21, etc. (I wonder if college grads have it or does post-high-school education mediate it some?)

Sigh.

The world is a different place, and I for one don't see it as better.

stellarparenting.com said...

rant away darling, rant away, I hear you.

angie said...

Sometimes encouragement/ or friendship instead of labeling and ranting would help make the world a better place. I always here about the negative things going on, what about the fact that we do have our children dressed, happy, in all the special ed they need, to the counceling appts, on the medication that was recommended by you, and sincerley I was proud that they all were hanging in there. I was not at all bitching about it on facebook. Not to mention everytime I go to do all the paperwork that my husband who is your son can't and won't do half the time I don't get what I need to get done. Is it my choice, yes!!!! but i am old enough to know that if shit doesn't get done by appropriate people then bad stuff happens too. What do i do leave it and let my son get taken, or continue to do piles of paperwork and get stuff taken care of to the best of my ability. I have two girls whom I have NEVER had to do this with, i should have maybe, yes, but never have.....think of how they feel, think of how xsavier feels when I can't get stuff done fast enough to make EVERYONE happy. I love you and the family mom, but i am making the best of ME for them. God does only help those who help themselves, your right. i pray every night he shows me the right path, won't promise i take it everytime, but I am trying my best.

Lisa said...

When my dh and I were younger, and had a one year old and I was pregnant with our 2nd child, we had $13-$20 per WEEK to spend on groceries. It really did not occur to me to utilize WIC, I figured we wouldn't qualify because my dh had a job. We didn't even consider food stamps because we owned a home and two running vehicles (not great vehicles, but the key is - they worked). Our diet was not extremely varied, but we ate every day, making sure our little boy always had milk and food. We wasted nothing. 25 years and 10 kids later, I coupon like crazy to keep our food budget under control. I would never have dreamed of complaining about our situation back then or even letting anyone know. My dh and I were fiercely independent back then and still are. That being said, I have adopted children who will not work for ANYTHING, but would be happy to take what you are willing to give them. I think the abilities are there, they've had good behaviors and positive coping skills modeled for them all their lives, but there is absolutely no motivation to change. Sure, life will kick them in the butt to some degree, but they're already learning that there is always someone out there in the world who can be manipulated and when that person catches on, they can just move on to someone else. It is a sad way to live as far as I'm concerned.