Wednesday, October 6, 2010

A Looong Morning

Hope started early today. Everybody was dressed and downstairs, Hope was done with breakfast, and I was finishing putting GB's breakfast on the table. When I walked past Hope, she grabbed my pinky and bent it straight back.  It is the first time she went after me for no apparent reason. I picked her up and put her in the timeout chair and she went into full rage mode. The last week the raging has been increasing and lasting longer. I guess the honeymoon is over. They are still honeymooning in school.

 I am getting different ideas for restraint, because I am tired of being black and blue and clawed. MK says if I treated Hope like I treat GB, the rages wouldn't happen. Of course, GB doesn't intentionally try to hurt me.

The girls new bed comes today. I am looking forward to more space to to organize their clothes in.


Kelly said...

Not claiming to be an expert....

For sure.

But, have you tried a cold shower? Clothes, shoes and all. Straight to the shower in whatever they have on. It has shortened our rages so much. I have even used a water bottle straight from the fridge in the summer time when the water in the shower wasn't cold enough to really get Nate's attention. It doesn't hurt him and it refocuses him. Might not work and might make things worse but I was sure to the point of trying almost anything, thought I would just bring it up.

You know far more about this parenting thing than I do so please don't think I am trying to tell you what to do. I really admire you and respect you for what you are doing and have already done for your kids. Keep up the good work. You are an amazing woman.

Psycho Mom said...

the restraining is hard!!! i tried to avoid it forever, but akila was being too violent toward me or others. i tried the two main kinds i know of, the basket hold in the lap, my lower back was killing and the danger of head butts is always there. mostly end up doing the one on the floor with her face down, but i think this is partially what has led to my upcoming knee surgery. it is never easy. a safe room is a good idea, i wish we had a room with no windows!!!!

Kristin said...

I really don't think MK's words should be taken seriously. She has no basis for comparison. You've barely had Hope home a month.


Anonymous said...

Stay strong!

marythemom said...

Oh gosh I wish I knew what to tell you! I still think my daughter needed the controlling physical touch that came from restraints and sometimes deliberately provoked me in order to get them. She always stayed in my arms long after the restraint was over, but she couldn't just admit she needed a hug and some Mommy time. She had to have the restraint to give her "permission" to enjoy the time.

Mary in TX

Acceptance with Joy said...

So Sorry!!

I know the exhaustion from prolonged rages and trying to keep them safe.

Mom of 5 said...

I don't know if this is doable when she is having a rage, but our therapist suggested getting 2 chairs, one in front of the other, have her cross her arms, and you wrap your arms from behind the chair around to the front to hold her hands. This keeps you safe, and her restrained. She suggested it for me to keep Z in time out, but I wonder if it could work at other times too.

Mom 4 Kids said...

Been there with the pinky pull, ouch!

We were trained by our behavior therapist in how to restrain Miss M. He is actually certified to teach CPI (Crisis Prevention Intervention) restraints. I was very against it but we got to a no choice point and her psychiatrist and the CBA both said she must be restrained to be safe. She was not only harming us but she was harming herself too. I could not have imagined how beneficial it was to her. Just like Mary the Mom mentioned in her comment, I think Miss needs that physical closeness when she is out of control. I have a totally different view point on CPI now.