Friday, July 8, 2011

The UnTherapeutic Parent

Hope raged yesterday morning. Yesterday afternoon, after three days of rages, she stopped. Instead of raging, she played the RAD game. The I-am-so-cute smile stayed on her face. She hit, she kicked, she screamed... but she was completely in control. I find this games very tiring. After being therapeutic for over three hours, I was toast. I stopped playing. Every time Hope made one of her RAD moves, I took myself physically out of the game. I moved away. When she followed me, sticking to be like sweat on a hundred degree day, I firmly told her I wasn't playing that game any more and peeled her off. The more she tried to engage me, the more aloof I became.  I gave GB attention and modeled appropriate interactions. Once The Dad came home, I completely detached. He had her for the rest of the night. This morning, when Hope came into cuddle, The Dad was already in the shower. She laid down next to me and as I reached to hug her she hit me and smiled her RAD smile. I immediately told her to get out of my bed and reminded her I was not playing that game any more. The Dad did not like my response. I am played out right now.

5 comments:

Barb G said...

Thank God, someone besides me isn't perfect.

(((((((((hug)))))))))) Sometimes, we just have to withdraw. That beats lashing out in anger.

You are an AMAZING mom!!! Praying hard that things get better quickly. Love you. (((hug)))

Amanda said...

It's probably the best thing you can do.

Sunday Koffron said...

Disengaging is a strategy I sometimes use when coaching, it does work with some kids. The only caveat is that they have to know that “I am not responding to that behavior, when you want my attention I will know it because you are behaving like this XY & Z. And then I will give you all of the appropriate attention you need.” My oldest child is one who doesn’t “get” the disengaging strategy, at home or when her coaches have done it, she, “thinks oh, great nobody cares what I do…so I’ll stop trying!” EVER!

Lisa said...

Want me to send you my therapeutic panties? They could be like the Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants and we could pass them around. The perfect fit for everyone and create a new fashion statement. :)

You are an amazing mother! Sometimes disengaging is the wisest decision for everyone.

In the Pink said...

Oy vey what a tough one she can be. I hope you are able to steal some time for yourself today.