Traumatized child # 1 is making progress. Although we have not had a repeat, yet, of Monday's most excellent day, we are seeing fleeting moments of real joy on her face. The picture above was taken yesterday while she was swimming with GB. Genuine joy has been unheard of for Hope. On the down side, her latest, and constant, role is the Victim. This is not good. It isn't good for GB. It also is part of my baggage. Growing up, I was the oldest and my youngest brother was the Victim his whole life. It is a big trigger for me and I need to be really careful how I deal with it.
Traumatized child # 2 is having a very difficult time. When Hope plays victim, she casts GB in the role of aggressor. GB is defenseless. The shrink again repeated that I am not protecting GB well enough and GB is starting to show signs of PTSD. Recently, Hope bit her own arm, starting crying that GB hurt her, and GB was unable to defend herself. Fortunately, I saw Hope bite herself (and the bite mark was facing the wrong way), but it took way too long to get GB back and calm her down enough that she could process this. And of course, at that point she was pissed. Still trying to brain storm possible solutions.
The girls are getting better at reciprocal play. It happens more often these days and lasts longer. A work in progress.
4 comments:
Oh boy, I feel your pain. I pray you have a string of really good days with Hope and that GB recovers easily from the "secondary" trauma. It is SO hard.
Hugs to you.
(((hug))) Praying for wisdom on how best to handle the situation.
Oh boy. Talk about your life being one of consistently walking on a tightrope.I'm glad there's a bit of progress in one direction at least. praying for you all.I HATE what life has done to these children.
hard to imagine such beautiful girls being so much work! I know what you mean about the smiles. When they are few and far between, you appreciate them so much!
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