`GB had a crafty birthday party yesterday (because I will be in Orlando next week!!!!!). It was combination of NT and special needs kids. She loves crafty stuff and with a couple of stress-relief breaks, she did well. So, this post is not about GB. My Green Eyed Monster is 43 pounds of pure adrenalin. Hope woke up yesterday, raring to make her mark. Chairs were flying before 8 am. Hope was very clear- she did not want GB to have friends, a birthday, a party, gifts or a good time. It.was.not.fair. We looked at pictures from her party and I had her tell me about each picture. She remembered how much fun she had, what presents she got, and who was there. I asked her if GB had done anything to make her birthday less fun. Hope looked puzzled and said no. I told Hope that GB had let her have a great birthday and I expected her to let GB have a great birthday. The arms folded, the death-ray stare crossed her face, and she shook her head no. Hope had real rages yesterday- the kind we haven't seen in over a month. Adrenalin fueled, fear and anger driven- I am so glad she is still so small. She was still fighting herself when she went to bed.
She woke up this morning and the Green Eyed Monster was gone. Until the next time.
3 comments:
My daughter saw Hope's picture and went on and on about how adorable she is. I smiled and agreed about her angelic cuteness...then read her this post. We talked about how deceiving looks can be...at your house and mine. :)
We had a jealous 7 yo at our house yesterday. It was his niece's 6th birthday and she taunted him a few times with "W is jealous because it's MY party."
He pouted, and asked if he could go to his brother's room. Next thing I knew he's wailing on the punching bag. I went to check on him and he had taken his shirt off and was punching his anger into the bag. I was pretty proud of him for how he decided to handle his feelings.
Of course a few minutes later my grand daughter was still bragging, so he went outside and cried.
I am sorry you had to deal with flying chairs. That doesn't sound like a very fun morning. It does sound like you handled it very well reminding her that she got to have a good party, and her sister deserves the same.
This is one of those stories that has me inside the child. I *still* have a problem at Christmas if I get 2 presents and everyone else gets 20. Actually, I seem to have been better at it this past year, but that's not the point. The point is that I have strong memories of being a small child and going down to the tree and seeing the big Santa present for my brother and for my sister. And.nothing.for.me.
How was her birthday celebrated in Texas? How were her sibs birthdays celebrated? That may have everything to do with the behaviour you see. She is re-experiencing past major pain. I've never felt that I was jealous of my children for getting presents; I was in pain because I was not worthy.
Idea: I read recently in Scientific American Mind that they've shown via MRIs that the pain of exclusion is real pain - processed in the mind in the same place as real pain, and it is dulled by tylenol. Try giving her some tylenol or advil when you anticipate that she is going to remember the pain of exclusion.
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