Monday, June 6, 2011

Why Would...

I knew that there would be payback after the glorious day we had Saturday. Hope started tantruming as soon as we left for home. She eventually fell asleep. When she woke up, she went into a full blown rage. It lasted the rest of the ride home and flared up up twice more after we were home. So why do I periodically make decisions that I KNOW will have high payback?

  • Hope is experience deprived. She needs as many different experiences as she can assimilate.
  • One of the experiences Hope lacks is normal family memories. We make memories.
  • GB has always had memory-making experiences and she continues to need them.
  • Us parents need the opportunity to have friends and enjoy life.
Yes, reentry today was exhausting and just plain hard. That doesn't mean yesterday shouldn't have happened. It just means that sometimes you know something is worth its steep price.


Denise said...

When I read about your trip, I immediately thought about your ride home. Your reasons for taking trips are all sound, and I have to keep reminding myself of that, because car rages, IMO, are the worst form of torture. There's just no escape, except for opening the door and jumping out (something I've considered, believe me!).

J. said...

yep, payback is a bitch but I knwo the day was worth it, I feel the same way everytime I do something great like that with my boys.

"Lil Ol' Me" said...

You are such a wise and wonderful momma!! I sure to take my hat off to you.

I love that you surrounded yourself (and kiddos) with as much 'normalcy' and sanity and fun as you could with another Soul Sister and her family.

It comes at such a high price. One that years from now I pray will be so worth it.

Sure do love ya!!

Sunday Koffron said...

She will someday have “normal” childhood memories…the rages, she will barely remember. XOXO, keep on keeping on.

Accidental Expert said...

Those glorious moments are definitely worth matter what. Your insight for your kids is very inspiring.

Anonymous said...

I've been thinking about RAD and me (although I'm not quite RAD, but clearly have many attachment problems.) And when I read about your day, I wondered how the kids could put up with it because I know *I* could never put up with that much stimulation. I hate long days out at public places, even if I have fun while doing it. When it ends and I can take myself off of constant-full-alert mode, I feel bone weary, headachy, wired and like I just need to go into a dark quiet spot and see if I can shake off all the negative energy well enough to sleep. As an experienced adult, I have a clue how to try to shake off that energy. I recognize the oncoming headache and often take Advil before the end of the event(s).

If Hope had sensory proccessing problems, you wouldn't force her into these situations, you would work to see how to modify the enviornment to reduce the overall sensory load. (For example, I stand w/ my son at the entrance to a mayhemic place and I tell him what he most needs to know - what are the landmarks to look for to know where I will be, where the restroom is, etc.) You have good reasons and good goals, but it seems like you shove so much into your times away from home. Perhaps you feel that she is going to rage anyway, why try to make the situation more workable for her?

It reminds me of what I've been telling my husband recently. He's been fighting the current. Remember that you don't win like that. You win by turning and letting the current flow around you. (Swimming isn't restful for everyone. Sonic is far more stimulating than eating take-out in the hotel room or at a park.)

I miss portions of big to-do's. I go inside if all are out, or vice-versa. I gather myself, re-group. I miss far less that way than if I were to force myself to participate in everything.