We went to see the psychiatrist Monday. I put GB on the bus for field day, so that we would have a whole hour to focus on Hope. The social worker from waiver was late. The psychiatrist was not happy. She said that deliberate aggression was different then rages. It was a personality trait and doesn't respond to medication. The social worker from waiver wanted more time to implement services. The psychiatrist agreed and added more clonodine to Hope's day. It went from 1 X to 3x a day.
She warned medication does not work on non raging aggression and she
doesn't have much hope it is going to help. Both the Psychiatrist and the Social Worker made it clear to Hope that she could not continue to bite.
I asked Hope to leave the room and then asked the psychiatrist what she has seen in the last eighteen months she was been treating her. She didn't want to answer, but I pushed. Her answer was the Hope was severely mentally ill with Reactive Attachment Disorder. She also said she saw no signs of Hope attaching up to this point. She
advised us to get an attachment therapist. I am on six waiting lists now and touch base with each attachment therapist at least once a week. I may have to look into a two week intensive because we are running out of time. The pyschiatrist said if the clonidine
doesn't stop the aggression, and she had little hope that it would, the hospital is necessary. We go back in
two weeks ( The Dad's birthday) to make a decision.
16 comments:
I am so sorry. ((HUGS))
Praying for all of you.
I am so grieved for you. You are doing great work. It must be so hard to have it not showing fruit. I am sure none of the alternatives seem like good ones, but I am sure you will choose the best. I hope you stay safe and are caught up on your tetanus shot.
I am so grieved for you. You are doing great work. It must be so hard to have it not showing fruit. I am sure none of the alternatives seem like good ones, but I am sure you will choose the best. I hope you stay safe and are caught up on your tetanus shot.
I am so sorry for you, Dad, GB and Hope herself. I am praying for all of you.
I am so sorry. You are an amazing mom!
oh!!so sorry!!!
Coming out of hiding here...
SO sorry. This kind of stuff really takes the wind out of our sails, for sure. Remember that it's only one person's opinion. Yours is the one that matters most.
I have to say, though, Clonadine for aggression?? Never heard of that one, but then again, I'm not all that smart. I thought it was a blood pressure med that was primarily used for sleep. They tried to turn my son into a zombie with is saying that he just needed to sleep more and then he wouldn't rage so much. Nice try. Why didn't they do Risperdal or something like that?
HOPING you can find SOMETHING that works and things can settle down.
My heart grieves with yours. Praying for your wisdom and your peace. Praying for the right answers for Hope. (((hug)))
So so sorry. I'm thinking over the whole deliberate aggression verses rages thing. I never thought about it before.
I sure do wish we lived closer to each other.
@Diana- Hope was on risperdal until her prolactin level hit the 40s when it should have been 2 or 3. She also takes 15mg of abilify.
@Chandra- I also wish we lived closer. This is my second time through RAD and I don't find it easier this time.
Thank you all for your support. Prayers are appreciated.
So sorry, Laurie. You are a GREAT mom, very experienced and loving. You are doing so much to meet Hope AND GB's needs, and I can hear your heartache. I wish we lived closer so I could at least give you some respite. xoxo
Sadly, it has also been my experience that medication doesn't stop aggression. Time does. Ongoing therapy does. And I think it's fair to say that the right cocktail of mess can certainly take the edge off the rage. It takes time to find. Don't hesitate t use the hospital...as many times as it takes. Surround yourself with parents who've been there. Let me know if I can help.
I also wish I lived close enough to give you some respite - or at least a place to crash with GB for a break! (((Hugs)))
@Diana, Clonidine is primarily a blood pressure medicine. but it can be used for sleep, aggression and ADHD symptoms. So it is also used for aggression. Again, the effects depends of the person.
@GB mom, I don't think that everything is lost. If she can control her aggressive behavior to a certain point, it means that your work and medicines are, at least, partially effective.
So, from the time I have been reading this blog, some progress have been made. Otherwise, Hope would had still been uncontrollable +++++++
Ok, she still kicks, lies... but I can see that now, she can control her biting at least a tiny bit.
I can tell you that when I am hyper angry ++++++++, Concerta does not completely stops my aggressive behaviors, but it quiets me enough to enable me to use my coping skills : without stimulant, I can have the best copying skills, I cannot use them because ADHD and ODD take over and nothing can stop it.
I don't think that medicines stop the aggression, but it calms the person enough to make it at least a tiny bit controllable. And the person is more accessible to therapy.
I'm pretty sure you know it, and you know Hope better than me, but I noticed that Hope always finds an occasion to fight against you.
I understand that it is much easier said than done, but the least you will engage, the best for you (and for her).
I don't say that we don't have to give rules, but I say that we have to separate priorities and keep only the most indispensable rules : the jumbled list of rules will be more confusing and gives to Hope more occasions for fights. Then, it will add more rules to counteract her fights, then she will fight even more etc etc...
What I say in such a case is : declutter your list of rules to the most important rules, and you stick to them, and you enforce only these rules. Keep rules about health, safety and basic property, and you ignore the rest.
Like that, if Hope engages a fight about her mismatched t-shirt and skirt, or about the blue glass she does not like, or about the shampoo she prefers over the soap, you can avoid to engage into the fight. It is easier for you not to give into the fight, because you will be solid enough about the "not worthing to fight about".
Enforce about health, safety and basic properties, which are first and foremost. And you ignore the rest, because it does not worth a fight about the mismatched socks, the blue glass or the shampoo instead of soap.
I know you probably know it. In this case, please forgive me.
This is why I'm going into attachment therapy. Because you shouldn't have to be on six waiting lists...
HUGS to you. Big big hugs.
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