Monday, April 23, 2012

The Importance of Parenting in SPACE

I went to the Parenting in Space (SPACE: Safety, Support, Supervision, Structure, Playfulness, Acceptance, Curiosity and Empathy.) Conference this past weekend. I was wildly unenthusiastic about leaving the girls and flying to Chicago for three days. The Dad had decided we should go. He took care of all the arrangements and I went along with it, albeit dragging my feet and whining quite a bit. 


I already had the connections I had made in Orlando. There are many women that will listen to me whine, offer help when I am overwhelmed,  and make me laugh when it seems like I have forgotten how. I knew The Dad didn't have this, but I didn't think it mattered. After all, men do not have friends that connect on meaningful levels, and they most certainly do not have any interest in sharing feelings. I was wrong.


Any Trauma Mamas who have been to Orlando know that the best thing that comes out of it is the conviction that we are not alone. There are other women living the same crazy life that we are. On the way home from the conference, The Dad and I were talking about  what we each considered the biggest gains we took away from the weekend. For the Dad, it was the many DOTs (Dads of Trauma) he met. The Dad wrote about his perspective  and I will post what he wrote tomorrow.

I was really surprised by how much The Dad got out of the weekend. I was more surprised at how much I learned about myself. I will try to share as much as I can in this week's posts.



2 comments:

Christine Moers said...

It was really special to hear my husband talk about how much he enjoyed getting to know your husband.

:-)

TwisterB said...

This isn't a criticism of you, almost everyone does it, but I think the whole "men are from mars women are from venus" attitude is really harmful.

It's safer to assume that, as a person, you husband needs exactly the same things you need (like friends who connect on meaningful levels) and any differences between you and him are because of personality, not gender.

Again, that's not to pick on you.

I am super happy your husband met some DOTs. I look forward to reading his perspective.