Hope's adoption went from plenty of time for decisions (weeks/ month, waiting for ICPC) to finalizing in Texas in three weeks. Now the decisions and necessary tasks look a little overwhelming. Hope's name is not Hope- It is Marsee Hope. That it will stay unless I figure out something else ( I left the name blank in the papers). The school says one particular person needs to take information about Hope and suggest appropriate placements. Unfortunately, that person hasn't responded to an email or phone call in two weeks. I sent the Director of Special Education a request to replace this non responsive person with herself and avoid the legal fees.
The current plan is to fly (GB, me, and the Dad) to Texas, sometime the week of August 22, depending on when the court date is, finalizing Hope and bringing her home. I figured I could coach the parents on what to say.
I haven't figured out the logistics of incorporating her into the family. A small room of her own, with nothing to hurt herself as she rages... or maybe bunk beds in GB room... or maybe keep her next to me, in my room. Keep here name/ change her name? ... Start her in the neighborhood kindergarten... and let them convince me she doesn't belong? ... or insist on the special education preschool that GB attended, since by Texas law that's were she should be/ was approved to be... How do you toilet train a 4 1/2 year old who was toilet trained for over a year, including at night, and is no longer. I have no mountains to walk her up.
I have been reading everything on attachment and adopting older children I can get my hands on. There seem to be two different camps- the work on attachment, do not get caught up in the behavior camp and the you can't let the child succeed at manipulation and triangulation camp. Are they diametrically opposed or can they work together?
All of a sudden I feel 9 months pregnant.