Mended

I am at the Orlando Airport, waiting for my flight home. Some of the most loving people I have ever met are taking a piece of my heart with them today as our weekend had to end. I am at peace. These are women I can trust and know they will handle the pieces I shared with them gently until I see them again. Thank you all.

We Started Thanksgiving Early

This morning the alarm went off, we were awake, and decided not to get up. GB joined us first. The three of us stayed in bed and cuddled and talked. GB worried about the bus, but the Dad told her not to worry, he would drive them. Hope joined us. We spent some more time in bed, cuddling and talking. When we finally felt like it, we got up and got ready for our days. The girls collected their book bags. GB took care of Ellie. We all went out to breakfast, and enjoyed more leisurely conversation. When everybody was ready, we dropped the girls at school.


Tonight, after Therapy Tuesday (UGH), we will leave to visit my sister for Thanksgiving. There is much to be thankful for.

Medication Update

GB is finally completely off Invega. In two weeks we will repeat her blood work, and, hopefully, her Prolactin level will be down. Today is the first day on the full dose of loxapine. I asked her teacher for feedback on the last couple of weeks of school. This is what I received:

Dear GB's Mom,

 We have noticed that GB is much more motivated and pleasant. She is engaged in her work and participates gladly in all activities. It has been a very pleasant and positive change.

GB  practices Tai Chi

  Sincerely,

    Mr.Teacher

Today I am grateful for medications that work and the professionals that help me find them.

Gratitude

Despite some current difficulties, I have many things to be grateful for.

* The Dad is back from Michigan. His report: J looks good and outside of school, X is doing well.

* We are having car problems, but we have the fiscal resources to solve them. Annoying yes, but it could be worse.

* GB is manic at the moment, but her psychiatrist answered my email in less than thirty minutes.

* Things aren't going well with the "outlaws" (Booboo's family), but MK is getting more reasonable and showing maturity in dealing with the situation.

* My grandson has started bringing me books, saying "read" and climbing into my lap.

* It is cold outside, but warm inside.

* When I look at the hard stuff, I can say "This, too, will pass" and believe it.

* I am never alone.

Worth Sharing

Hope drove me crazy yesterday. She sneaked outside with out permission, fed the dog bubble solution, lost her homework, hit the dog, and stood in the hallway screaming because she had nothing to do. There was more, but that is not important. What I wanted to share was that as I kissed Hope goodnight, I realized that I didn't have a headache, my blood pressure wasn't changing wildly, and I didn't have to force myself to go through my Mommy motions. Hope didn't have a good day and I was okay. That is worth sharing.

Thankfulness Project Monday

I stole this from my Soul Sister, who stole it from  counselormusings@blogspot. Gratitude and thankfulness are meant to be part of our daily life. There are days where the day is gone before it even occurs to me that the good stuff was with me all day, and I didn't notice it.

I am grateful for:

• For medical care that far surpasses what most people in this world have available. I dislike my C-PAP  machine, but I am grateful that it is available for me and that it helps.
• I am grateful for all the supportive friends I have and for being able to spend time with them.
• I am grateful that there is a systemic way to get my girls what they need to benefit from their education. It is a blessing to be able to fight for what they need- a blessing my mother didn't have 40 year ago, when she needed it for my brother.
• I am grateful for the opportunity to grow my patience raising my second family. Although it can be incredibly difficult in the moment, it keeps me focused on where I am going and doesn't leave me time to get side tracked. The smiles, hugs, and accomplishments  are a joyful, free bonus.
• I am grateful for my grandson. He holds the promise of breaking the generational cycle of damaged children.

What is there in your life to be grateful for?

Gratitude for YOUR Problems

Today's post is about perspective. As we get involved with the day to day struggles of living, it is really easy to lose sight of all we have been given.

• Feeling poor? If you are reading this, the chances are you have clean water, healthy food, and a comfortable shelter to live in. Many people in the world don't.
• Missing the people you have lost? Remember you were blessed to have them in your life. Most people never even met them.
• Chronic disease have you wondering why me? Look at some of the other diseases you could have. I know I can find a lot of diseases that would be so much more difficult to live with. I'll keep what I have.
• Feeling unfairly attacked or disliked? At least no one will come knocking at your door in the middle of the night and take you away because they don't like what you believe or say.
• Is your world intolerant and judgmental to your special needs kid(s)? It sucks, but you are blessed to still have your kids. There are parents who no longer have their kids and would be willing to put up with almost anything to have them back.

There are days when I feel defeated. There are days when the world tells me how wrong I am and how to do it right. There are days when choices have to be made because there isn't enough money to do everything. On these days, and other difficult days, I stop and look at the blessings I have. I look at what went right today.

And, yes, GB and Hope made it on the bus today without a single problem. Some days are easier to be grateful for then others. Still, gratitude belongs in every day. God is always good.

God Is Good

It is early Sunday morning and the house is quiet. Soon GB will be up and the morning will really start. Before I go to church, I sometimes find it helpful to write down the good things in my life. I thought I would share them this morning.

• My husband is the kind of man that would drive 4 hours to pick up friends who were unexpectedly stuck at the airport.
• GB loved the social group yesterday. There was one boy in particular that she hit it off with.
• Hope has made progress. She is still nasty and physical and tantrums for long periods of time, but usually can turn it off in a nano second if the carrot/stick is big enough.
• Mali has been sick for 7 days, but so far hasn't had to be hospitalized.
• Hope was sent home from school with pink eye Friday, but we got her right in to the doctors and he said she didn't have it.
• The Dad went on a field trip with Hope's class this week and had multiple opportunities to chat with her class' therapist. The therapist said Hope was starting to talk about feelings regarding her first adoptive family.
• I am at 15.5/500 in Corey's challenge to raise funds for Trauma Mama's who need help getting to Orlando.
• I am at 15.5/500 in spite of my current physical health.
• My granddaughter, who does Girls on the Run, cut 12 minutes off her time, comparing this year's 5k to last year's 5k.
• I have Soul Sisters on my side!

The Car Ride's Gratitude List

• Daffodils
• Pepsi
• The  adults in the car
• GB's trust
• John Denver on the Ipod
• Medication that makes it doable
• DVD players
• Headphones
• Twizzlers
• The kids blankets
• My blankie
• Arriving at J's

Thankful November, Day 30: You start where you are.

This is my last Thankful November Post. I am glad I tried the challenge, but there were days when I was a fish out of water, desperately flailing around, trying to find something to write. Today I have a lot to say, so please be patient- I will come back to gratitude.

This morning was a good morning. The girls were up in time, both in good moods, and dressed without any hassle. GB took care of Ellie, Hope started breakfast. When they were both done eating, Hope went to finish last night's HW and GB had a couple of more invitations to fill out. I was sitting between them. Hope needed continual help, because the HW was way beyond her current capabilities (but that is another post). GB said something about one of her classmates being adopted. Hope said, "He can't be adopted. He's white." GB looked at Hope like she was from another planet and repeated "He is adopted. He is white." Hope got the look*out*your*stupid look on her face and insistently said "Only brown kids get adopted". GB told her again "J is white and he was adopted." Hopes arms were crossed and her chin jutted out. I quickly sent GB to watch some TV before the bus. I helped Hope finish her HW and just as she was done, she looked at me and said "Only brown babies get adopted, because nobody wants them. White babies stay with their Mommys".  All I said to her was I wanted to adopt her, not just any baby, and it was time to go.

After the kids were one the bus, I came back in and realized today was easy. I am grateful that God has given me a chance to change this child's self image and broaden her knowledge base. It is my job to expose her to the many non-brown kids who have been adopted. I can't help wondering, though, where she got these ideas from.