Yesterday we stayed home all day. We were trying for routine and establishing the minimum amount of rules that are necessary for us to survive. Hope is working on using words instead of screaming and not being aggressive. The tantrums and rages are just too big to tackle right now. We are working on attachment all the time and have had some success. I was called mommy most of yesterday and was ugly only during the times she was raging. Chocolate gives me the most success. This morning she crawled into bed and wanted to cuddle. Of course the Dad was in the shower, and unavailable, but it was still a victory!
GB is struggling with sharing. She is used to everything being hers and having control over what is done with it. She got to pick three items she did not have to share and the rest become community property. The teasing and scaring Hope was better yesterday morning. After Hope hit her in the face with a wooden building block yesterday afternoon, we lost all progress.
Hope is extremely independent. Last night, I gave her a bath, and she washed and rinsed her body completely on her own. I went to dry her and she screeched and grabbed the towel and said "I do". She dried herself. I took out the lotion (a yummy cherry vanilla) and offered to rub some on. Hope tried to take it and I kept it out of her reach. We had tears and I gently told her, over and over, that mommy wants to do the lotion- it is mommy's lotion. She never agreed, but after a while she let me rub it on her hands, feet, arms, and legs.
We have a physical scheduled for Hope this afternoon. That will be our trip out for the day.
5 comments:
Aawwwe, that sounds so sweet. She wanted to cuddle and is miss little independent. Sounds like you are making some serious headway.
All I can say is "you go girl!" You are taking it as it comes and handling it well. Awesome!!!
Keep hanging in there!! It will get easier. Love the new picture on the blog of you and the girls by the way!
Mary in TX
When does school start for y'all?
Mary in TX
Are Hope's body issues a legacy of past abuse or is she just at the point where she's becoming aware of privacy and the right to say "no" to touching when she doesn't feel like being touched?
Physical intimacy is a very delicate issue with children, more so with children who haven't been with you since birth. I think we all deserve the right to decide who is allowed to touch us and who is not and that can change depending on how we feel at any given time.
I'm disturbed by the faction among attachment therapy proponents who advocate drinking from baby bottles, forced hugging and hand feeding of candies to older children. I understand the theory behind it but it still creeps me out.
Post a Comment