Another Day Gone...

Yesterday is gone.

I had to be at a hospital two hours away for a procedure that was scheduled to start at 7 am. GB has been so dysregulated, I decided to bring her with us. MK agreed to get Hope up and on the bus. After 3 1/2 hours of being stabbed very, very, very slowly with a four inch needle in my left hip, more times than I cared to count, and three full MRIs (i am claustrophobic), they decided their procedure wasn't going to work. GB had no patience left for the ride home.

When we got home, the painkillers I took before we left finally kicked in. I laid down and let the hazy people around me do their own thing. MK put an end to that. Her baby was running a fever. A real fever. He needed to see a doctor. I pulled myself out of my haze and told MK she would have to drive. She agreed, but said I had to come in case he had a problem. I went to make sure GB was ready so we could leave as soon as Hope got off the bus. GB was by herself, in front of the TV, drinking Pepsi. Pepsi as caffeine in it. Even when GB is stable, she can't tolerate caffeine. When she is already manic, it is not a pretty picture.

We got through the doctor visit. We made it home. Hope is still trying hard to be a reflection of GB. GB was bouncing off walls and Hope thought it ways great fun to bounce, too. I kept them contained in the living room, with me, and tried to pull them in and center them but it didn't work.

Dinner is always difficult for Hope and last night was harder than most. She laughed, fell off the chair, spit her food out, complained constantly (yep, even while she was laughing), and managed to eat almost nothing. The Dad usually handles her during dinner since he doesn't think I have enough tolerance with Hope. Every couple of minutes, for no reason that I can find, Hope starts a loud, high pitched screeching. My reaction is to remove her from the table. The Dad is working with her, trying to eliminate the behavior without removing Hope from the table. Last night, I had no tolerance for even the idea of a family dinner, much less actually sitting through one. As soon as GB was done eating, I took her upstairs to get ready for bed, take medication, and cuddle in a calm atmosphere. Thankfully, we have a big house, so Hope screaming downstairs didn't really ruin our calmness. I had emailed GB's shrink and emailed back, raising her lithium again. I gave her the extra capsule and a prn. She went off quickly. Hope didn't. She threw her blankets off and screeched that someone had to cover her for almost thirty minutes before she finally gave up.

Yesterday is gone. I have hope for today. The girls have a half day at school today. We are going to stay in this afternoon and be calm and mellow. At least, that is the plan.