Friday, August 20, 2010
Feelings
I can't believe it is real. We are adopting a child we have seen for less than 24 hours, with more labels than I have ever seen and making a lifetime commitment. This morning I am excited, nervous and overwhelmed.Maybe I have totally lost my mind and I just don't know it yet.In less than a month, I will be 53. What am I doing? GB is excited beyond words. Texas is so far away! I can't imagine how she is going to feel. I have no idea how to even attempt to explain it to her. I haven't had any good answers for GB when she wants to know why Hope's mother doesn't want her any more.I can't stop my mind from racing. I had less than 4 hours sleep last night and that is probably not helping. We decided to just take Hope's favorite things with her and leave most of her stuff behind. I plan on getting her and Gb a few matching outfits and PJs. From what I saw when she visited, most of her clothes don't fit well and weren't the style of clothes we would wear anyway. I want Hope to ... I don't know what I want. Time to stop babbling.
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5 comments:
she is going to feel bounced, unwanted, not loved, like a leper than no-one wants, and really confused because she will probably not understand that the dumping from her texas parents is permenant.
. . . but she is going to be loved now, and wanted, and everytime she feels confused, you're going to be there. Do not be discouraged!
and you are going to the paretns that cherish her fore the wonderful child that she is who realise that her beahviours are only that, behaviours and they do not define her.
Can't even imagine the emotions you have right now about this. I am nervous at times about adopting my Nate and I have had him for 22 months. Nervous is normal, I would think. So happy for all of you.
As for explaining to GB, I would say something along the lines that Hope's mom really wanted to be able to keep Hope, but that the mom wasn't strong enough to give Hope what she needed. Tell her that not every mom is as strong as GB's mom is. Remind GB about how hard it can be on not just GB but the whole family when GB is having a really, really bad day, and that GB's family is strong and knows what to do and has friends and family and church to help them, but that Hope's mom was pretty much all by herself (assuming that is mostly true) and no matter how much she wanted to, when Hope had a really, really bad day her mom could not help her or keep her safe (and probably, sometimes because mom had nobody to help her, mom made things even worse.)
Of course, only you know what GB can hear without worrying about herself and the strength of her mother and whether Hope might need more than her mom can give her.
You could take an easier way out and say that Hope's mom got sick in her head, worse than Bipolar ... but I don't think that is true and it is likely that whatever you tell GB will be relayed on to Hope.
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