tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2615738387814644598.post8073685103856691811..comments2023-06-26T06:46:55.112-04:00Comments on Adopting Special Needs: Things We Don't Want to KnowGB's Momhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08866513131959998883noreply@blogger.comBlogger2125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2615738387814644598.post-60034650453273675442011-08-24T22:26:00.283-04:002011-08-24T22:26:00.283-04:00I am reminded of when Ms A was first born and I wa...I am reminded of when Ms A was first born and I was given a packet of information about spina bifida. In that packet was information on Chiari Malformation, and it talked about possible mental retardation. I said "no" and closed that pamphlet and stuck it in the back of the notebook. There were very few who didn't want to ride down the Nile with me. But yes, those that did often put their thoughts in writing and I just didn't process those words. I've gone back into some of the reports from when she was young and I am surprised to see, to understand, the meaning of what they had written. Sometimes it feels like my grief over this one (large) aspect of her will never end.<br /><br />I am glad to see you are working on really facing and dealing with the autism diagnosis.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2615738387814644598.post-32082567505367105092011-08-22T14:41:01.929-04:002011-08-22T14:41:01.929-04:00Thank you for posting this. So often I read on spe...Thank you for posting this. So often I read on special needs blogs, "We are the experts on our children." I get that this is usually true. And I get the need to say and reinforce it--doctors and other professionals have so much inherent authority and power that it needs to be said, otherwise many parents will be too intimidated to speak up.<br /><br />But I've always wondered--what about those parents who really are in denial? Or, at the opposite end of the spectrum, isn't there at least one parent in history who has underestimated her child's abilities? <br /><br />I've been told that my aunt (who is mentally disabled and in her 60s) couldn't even get herself dressed in the morning before she moved into a group home about 30 years ago. (And it was my aunt who insisted on the move, not my grandma.) Before long, my aunt was able to successfully use NYC public transit to take herself to therapy appointments and visits with her boyfriend. <br /><br />I don't think my grandma was necessarily wrong about what she thought my aunt was capable of. I think my aunt really was that limited so long as she lived at home. All the junk from a less than perfect mother/daughter relationship probably really did prevent my grandma from teaching these things and my aunt from learning them. It took a neutral outsider, without baggage, to work with my aunt. <br /><br />But I digress. What I really wanted to say was thank you for bringing up this side of things.r.https://www.blogger.com/profile/16308261231346881996noreply@blogger.com